12 Hilarious CV Bloopers
17 March 2017
As a hiring manager or a recruiter, you’ve no doubt had thousands of CVs cross your desk during your working life.
Some of them belong to absolutely outstanding candidates who you would hire in a heartbeat. Others … Not so much.
Whether it be the need for a quick spell check or someone who clearly just doesn’t know what to write on a CV, there are some real howlers out there.
For our amusement, and yours, we take a look at some genuine quotes from CVs that are so weird and funny, you’ll be hard pushed not to laugh.
“I have repeated courses repeatedly”
So good – they’ve done it twice!
“I am skilled with the pubic.”
It’s all gone very 50 Shades …
“I am bi-lingual in three languages”
Umm … We think that makes you multi-lingual.
“My hobbies include drugs and girls.”
Who knows what a quick social media scout would uncover here.
“Salary requirements: The higher the better.”
Obviously, everyone feels that way, but you can’t come out and say it!
“Last job – Own Business. Reason for Leaving – Fired.”
What did you do … To yourself?!
“I am able to persuade people sexually by using my words.”
Almost certain that’s tantamount to assault.
“I am undertaking this course as I feel it would be detrimental to my career.”
Someone please buy this poor soul a dictionary.
“My twin sister has an accounting degree.”
We've always wondered if people genuinely sent their twins in their place.
“Directed $25m anal shipping and receiving operations.”
TYPO! TYPO! TYPO!
“I have been convicted of arson … Will explain at interview.”
We’d invite them in just to find out what happened!
“Life skills: I can make a perfect velociraptor call.”
Written By Mary Palmer